Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Terrible Twos are here. Yea.

the short version... Spring break days 4 -5 were extremely boring, but ended with a quick trip up north to see my brother and sis-in-law and shopping for spring clothes that no one can wear because winter came back. Next year, we are going to Disney World for spring break. The End. Moving on.

Yesterday was one of my favorite days of the year. It's the day my windows get cleaned. Seriously. I don't have a house keeper (yet), but I allow myself to splurge and have some cleaning jobs serviced for me. Window cleaning is one, tile and grout cleaning is another. The entire house is cleaned the night before (we can't let the window guy see anything but a spotless interior, right?), and when the guys pull up in their truck, I get so excited. They get to work pulling off screens and moving furniture while I start cleaning my beloved plantation shutters. 3-4 hours later, my house is literally sparkling. Like, truly sparkling from the street. At night, my windows are so clean, they look like a room full of mirrors. It makes me so happy. Weird. And I'm probably getting old. Window cleaning day also means it is guaranteed to rain the next day. So yes, today is a cold, rainy day filled with scattered thunderstorms. Awesome.

When you think of terrible twos, do you think of snotty nosed kids who constantly throw irrational fits, are defiant, and have complete melt downs for no reason while their parents stand by with a bewildered expression saying,"I just don't know, he's not usually like this"? This is our newest parenting reality. Someone has replaced our sweet, easygoing boy with this little person who thinks rules don't apply and he is in charge. Some examples:
* We are out to eat at a restaurant. He is finished eating and wants his plate removed. After explaining his plate will be moved in a moment, he exclaims, "no, right NOW" while pushing said plate and food AND fruit punch to the floor. Insert mortified parental faces here.
* While playing, he hits his sister with a closed fist. "Nathan," I say, "do not hit your sister." Continues hitting. "I'm not hitting," he replies. "I'm PUNCHING." "Nathan," I say, "DO NOT punch or hit or touch your sister. Stop right now." Continues hitting/punching. He replies, "I'm NOT STOPPING." Lawdy, that one did not end pretty. I won't discuss my discipline techniques here, but he sure was snotty nosed afterward.
* Today, I am walking him into preschool. I take off his jacket to leave with his things. Halfway into his class, he decides he wants to put his jacket back on and go outside. I tried to simply put his jacket back on, but that was not good enough. He wanted to go back outside. I lost my nice mom demeanor, took the jacket back off, told him he was not going outside, he was not wearing his jacket, and he was going to class. Meltdown commenced. Crying the ugly cry, folded up in fetal position on the ground, screaming I want my jacket, I want my jacket. Now add to the scene lots of other mothers toting their adorable obedient toddlers to class having to step OVER and AROUND my screaming child. I did what any sensible mother would do. Scooped him up, wiped the snotty nose, passed him off to the teacher and got the heck out of there, praising the Lord I had the next 5 hours to myself. I truly think I may have skipped to the car.

These are just a few examples from the past few days. I won't even talk about what bedtimes have been like. I have enough experience to know it's all a phase, and one day I'll look back and miss this, and blah, blah, blah. It's exhausting. If you drive by my house today and peek into my sparkling windows, you're likely to find me curled up with an old Dobson standby, Bringing up Boys, Dare to Discipline, or Strong Willed something or other. Or maybe I should just go ahead and read all three.

3 comments:

Becca said...

oh, I'm sorry. I don't know how the girls were at two, but that all sounds really normal. Maybe a boy thing? You'll get through it!

Ashley said...

I LOVE IT!!! We have the same kind of days here...only ours started when Jack was 2 and have continued into his 4s! I hope yours end at the 2s. I really like throwing the food on the floor in the restaurant!

Amy said...

Have mercy I LOVE what you said about 1 day you'll look back & blah, blah, blah. I HATE it when people tell me that!!!! Like, seriously? Do I look like someone who doesn't realize that time passes? And children go thru phases? Really? You mean I won't be wiping their butts @ 16??? Oh, I try so hard to be polite, but grrrrrrrrrrr.

Ok, obviously I needed to vent. ;) I also need the name/number of your window guy......